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Relentless

How a Massive Stroke Changed My Life for the Better

An Incredible Journey of Determination and Recovery. In 2005, Ted W. Baxter was at the top of his game. He was a successful, globe-trotting businessman with a resume that would impress the best of the best. In peak physical condition, Ted worked out nearly every day of the week. And then, on April 15, 2005, all that came to an end. He had a massive ischemic stroke. Doctors feared he wouldn't make it. But that's not what happened . . . In Relentless, Ted W. Baxter describes his remarkable recovery from a massive stroke. He's walking again. He's talking again. He moves through life almost as easily as he did before the stroke, only now, his life is better. He's learned that having a successful career is maybe not the most important thing. He's learned to appreciate life more and that he wants to help people, and that's what he does. He gives back. Readers of Relentless will be inspired by Ted's incredible journey of determination and recovery. This is a wonderful resource for stroke survivors, caregivers, and their loved ones, but it is also an inspiring and motivating read for anyone who is facing struggles in their own life  

CHAPTER 1

Four Days, Four Flights

I was at the top of the totem pole.

I had surpassed all others on my globe-trotting climb to the

top of the financial industry. I was a man on a mission—a constant

blur of motion as I steadfastly pursued my career goals.

I have a resume that would impress the best of the best. I spent

years devoting nearly every waking moment to the Price Waterhouse

financial services consulting group. I started and grew their Tokyo

division, which led to my designation as partner.

When that challenge was no longer enough, I left Price Waterhouse

and joined Credit Suisse First Boston as the regional financial

controller for Asia Pacific. When they moved me back to Manhattan

to serve as American financial controller and then on to global managing

director of financial systems and strategy, I found myself bored

once again. I needed an even greater challenge. I had to keep moving.

So my wife and I relocated, yet again, to Chicago, so I could take the

position of global controller at Citadel, one of the most successful

hedge fund companies in the world. At forty-one, at the peak of my

game, I was the go-to guy in the financial services arena.

I have an impressive resume, but it didn’t come without a great

deal of effort.

And in an instant, it was all gone.

I remember bits and pieces of the weeks leading up to my collapse.

For instance, I remember being impressed by the view as my wife

and I landed on Mauritius, an island off the coast of Africa, en route

to an all-inclusive resort. As would be expected, we were dressed for

relaxation when we walked out of the airport into the bright sunshine,

with sunglasses in place and shorts showing off our untanned

skin. Winter in Chicago had, as usual, been brutally long. Things

were starting to thaw there, but it would be another month, at least,

before we had day-to-day nice weather. We were in major need of a

warm getaway, and I remember the sun feeling exceptionally good,

despite my wandering mind.

I was, as always, thinking about work, wondering if the last presentation

had sealed the deal with a stubborn international client.

Those concerns had me checking my email, via BlackBerry, as often

as possible.

“What are you doing?” Kelly asked as someone had to weave

around me, my nose pointed directly at the mobile screen.

“Just checking my email,” I mumbled in reply, too busy absorbing

what I was reading to meet her eyes.

“Don’t worry about your email, Ted. Look! This place is beautiful.”

Though the words were true, her voice lacked its usual conviction,

and that did make me take notice. I placed an arm around her

shoulders, thinking that she really could use the sun. Her face was

quite pale.

Then my BlackBerry beeped an alert, and my eyes were back on

the small screen.

When we climbed into the back of the car that would take us the

rest of the way to the resort, I looked up at Kelly again. She was resting

her head against the black leather seat. I poured a drink from the

decanter beside me and offered her one. She shook her head ever so

slightly, turning the drink down.

“Is there a gym at the resort?” I asked, believing that conversation

would help her perk up.

“Yes. You aren’t going to work out this week, are you?” she replied.

“Of course I am. I always do,” I answered. It was an argument that

she couldn’t win, so she just shook her head at me, as she often did.

“Try to enjoy the vacation, Ted.”

I chuckled and slid in closer to her. “I will.”

She smiled but still didn’t lift her head.

“Are you okay?” I asked, feeling the warmth of the back of her

head seeping into my arm.

“I’m okay. I think I must have gotten motion sickness on the plane.”

I knew that wasn’t the case, and so did she. We had been together

for years, and in all the time I knew her, she’d never suffered from

motion sickness. A fever took hold of her later that day, and she spent

the majority of our time in Mauritius in bed with the flu.

Without my wife to keep me from it, I worked. That’s how I was

and what I did. I spent most of our trip using the resort’s Wi-Fi to

keep in contact with my colleagues and clients. Many were all too

happy to take a trip to the African island to meet with me in person.

After all, Kelly was right; the place was beautiful.

A week later, with Kelly feeling much closer to her normal self,

though without the tan that she had so hoped for, we boarded a flight

headed back to Chicago.

“When do you leave?” she asked as we buckled into our seats.

After taking the requested pillow from the stewardess, I turned

to Kelly. “I leave Sunday. Shouldn’t be gone more than four or five

days.” I went to Europe on business about every six to eight weeks.

“What time?”

“I’ll have to check the itinerary. Overnight, though. Ten-hour

direct flight to London, then on to Luxembourg . . . and I think

that’ll be the only other stop this time.”

“That’s good,” she said, accepting a cocktail from the stewardess.

A devious grin tugged at her lips as she looked up at me and sank

deeper into the airline chair. I watched her take a sip of her drink, and

then she set her hand on my arm. “It’s not all bad, you know. Comfy

pillows, drinks, snacks. I could get used to flying all of the time.”

I laughed. “Well, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, you know,” I

responded, leaning back a little farther in my own chair.

That flight to London on the Sunday after we returned from

Mauritius was the first of four international flights that I would take

in a matter of four days. The final flight of the four was the return

trip from London to Chicago on Thursday. On this flight, I was

exhausted, which wasn’t like me, and I figured it was just the lack of

sleep, jet lag, and being away from home for so long.

“Can I get you anything else, sir?” the stewardess asked after

handing me the pillow.

“No, thank you. This’ll be fine. Can you just wake me ten minutes

before we land for a cup of coffee, please?” I said.

“Of course, sir. Sleep well.” Whether or not her words had anything

to do with it, I can’t say, but I do know that I slept that entire

flight. I didn’t wake for the meal, a drink of water, or a trip to the

bathroom. “Sir, it’s time to wake up. Sir? I have a cup of coffee for

you,” she said in a sweet voice. I smiled in thanks and took a sip of the

coffee. I never sleep through an entire flight.

It was Thursday afternoon, and I was checking the incoming

emails on my BlackBerry on my way out of the airport when my limo

driver called out to me.

“Good afternoon, sir. How was your flight?”

It was then that I noticed that I wasn’t walking right. I found

myself limping every four or five steps as I walked over to the limo.

“It was fine, thank you.”

“Are you all right, sir?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Just tired from the flight,” I answered, further baffled

at the fact that, despite the hours of uninterrupted sleep, it was

a true statement.

The driver glanced at my leg as I got in. I guess my limp was

more obvious than I thought. “Leg is bothering me. Too much time

sitting on the plane, I guess,” I said, rubbing it a bit as I sat in the

soft leather seat.

The driver didn’t say anything more, and I promptly put the

thought out of my mind. There was work to do, and besides, this

wasn’t the first time I’d had trouble with my legs. I had long since

given up on the idea of having legs free of varicose veins. I had asked

several doctors about them and was always told that the noticeable

veins in my legs were superficial and not the dangerous kind. Even

if I had them stripped, for cosmetic reasons, varicose veins like mine

usually come back anyway. Genetics at its finest.

When I arrived home, Kelly greeted me as soon as I walked in the

door. “Welcome home,” she said and then gave me a small kiss on my

cheek before quickly returning to what she had been doing before I

walked in. I watched her make her way to the kitchen. She had laid a

stack of my mail on the entry table, like usual, so I grabbed it on my

way to my office.

“You’re not going out, are you?” she called from the other room.

“No, I’m going to get these bills paid and get stuff ready for work

tomorrow.”

“Do you need help getting unpacked?” she asked, sticking her

head into the doorway.

I smiled and shook my head. Even though traveling was part of

my routine, she always seemed excited to see me come home. “No,

I’ll do it. I’ve got to get my gym bag packed anyway.”

She rolled her eyes and walked away. I knew that most people didn’t

work out like I did, but it was a part of my routine that I wasn’t willing

to part with. So the next day, like every day, I would wake up by five

so I could be in the city by six. That gave me an hour to work out and

a few minutes to get cleaned up before I had to be at the office. Kelly

laughed at me, but she was health conscious too. We both maintained

a healthy diet, didn’t smoke or take recreational drugs, and drank infrequently,

in moderation. Physical fitness was a priority for us in life.

And for me, not only did it allow me to feel good, but it didn’t hurt my

image in business either. I was the picture of good health.

Except, my leg hurt.

The Stroke

When we walked out of our home an hour or so later to get some

dinner, Kelly asked me about my leg. “Why are you limping?”

“I’m not limping. My leg . . . it’s just a little sore.” I rubbed it and

made a conscious effort to walk naturally. “What do you want to

eat?’’

“Sushi okay?”

“Sounds great,” I answered, opening the front door for her.

We arrived at our favorite local sushi restaurant in the next town

over and were seated in the dining room.

“Don’t you want a drink?” Kelly asked after the waiter came to

take our drink order and I declined anything other than water. Typically,

I would have ordered a large hot sake and enjoyed every warming

sip with our sushi, as I had done when I lived in Tokyo.

“Not tonight. Just water is fine,” I said.

She looked at me with a funny expression but let it go and told

me about how she’d spent her time while I was away, saying once

again how much she wished that she hadn’t been sick on our trip. I

was happy to keep up the usual stream of conversation, happy to be

seated across from her eating the delicious meal, but when the bill

came, I quickly pulled out my card and handed it to the waiter. I was

ready to go home.

“Would you do me a favor tomorrow?” I asked Kelly as we walked

through the front door of our home. “Can you call and schedule me

an appointment with my doctor? Just sometime later this month,

after your appointment.”

“Are you all right?” she asked. Concern covered her face. “I can

try to get you in sooner.”

“I’m fine. It’s just that my leg is sore, and sometimes it feels like

I’m experiencing growing pains. The doctor will just say the same

thing he always does, I’m sure. ‘Don’t worry about the pain. It’s no

big deal.’ But it feels worse than usual.” I rubbed my hand over it, and

she agreed to make the call for me.

I made my way to our bedroom and sighed as I sank into the

couch in the sitting room of our master suite. Kelly laughed and fell

back in the chair beside me. “You’re not going to sleep already, are

you? It’s only eight o’clock.”

“Nah. Not yet,” I said groggily, picking up a Men’s Health magazine.

I really was tired, but I flipped a few pages until I came to an

article of interest. “Look, maybe I should start taking this supplement,”

I said, showing her the article.

“You already take a few different ones,” she answered. I pointed to

the list of the four supplements men should be taking. I was already

taking three of the four.

The Apprentice was on, and a few minutes into the show, Kelly

asked, “Did you see that commercial?”

I picked up the remote and rewound it, thinking again how wonderful

TiVo was. I watched the commercial but didn’t respond.

“Did you see that?” she asked again, looking to me, surprised that

I didn’t have a comment to make about it. “What’s wrong? Don’t you

think that’s funny?”

I didn’t respond. I realized I couldn’t respond. Suddenly, I couldn’t

get my mouth to form any words. I was extremely light-headed, and

I began to shiver. I felt pain in my head like a really bad migraine but

something I had never experienced before. I couldn’t say anything,

and nothing made any sense.

“C’mon, Ted. It was funny, and you know it. It wasn’t that bad.”

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. I was too busy almost dying.

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