My words for the year “do it scared” has been stretching me and peeling layers of my inhibitions, fears, and self-doubt. The Universe has kept its end of the bargain to challenge me further. In faith, I am following my desire to be authentic, vulnerable, real and raw in expressing myself through writing, speaking, and with my daily interactions with others.
On January 30, 2018, I received the e-mail congratulating me for my selection as a semi-finalist to speak on stage at TEDx Lady Bird Lake in Austin, Texas. Receiving this news is like winning the lottery! I have it written in my journal sometime in 2013 that I would want to be up on the TEDx stage sharing my idea. I am now a few steps closer to this dream.
Any dream will not turn into a goal if we do not make conscious efforts to outline the HOW part and of course identifying a due date for it. The way I pictured my dream to speak on the TEDx stage was this -
I have my doctorate degree, I am between the ages of 42–45, have written at least two books, international speaker, and already a full time adjunct faculty for a reputable university.
Those were the conditions I have set in my mind as the woman that “has arrived” to speak on the TEDx stage.
The feeling of excitement knowing that my dream is within reach, washed over after I thought about that woman. My old friends fear and anxiety started to creep in my already confused mind. I asked myself, Am I ready? Am I that woman that “has arrived” deserving of that stage?
It took me a full 24 hours to clear my thoughts and write the content for the 30 second video clip I must submit. I felt even more anxious and uneasy when the video entries of the other semi-finalists were posted. I felt intimidation crawl up and make itself at home in me. I reached out to close friends who know me best, and my husband also my artistic director assured me that he could assist me in creating the video. The last element that brought me to reality and back to the path I need to take was my daughter.
She was drawing a picture about when she grows up. From the kitchen, I can hear her little voice talking to herself as she artfully decorated her picture with glitter glue, crayons, and stickers. She was saying how she will be like her Momma, a writer, a teacher and a good cook…
My bigger WHY to be on the TEDx stage is to show my daughter, Elise that she has a VOICE. That someday, she may use this voice for herself and others. Moreso that she can DREAM , BELIEVE and ACHIEVE what she has set in her heart and mind.
In my daughter’s eyes, I have arrived.
To follow my journey to TEDx Lady Bird Lake and if you are so inclined to support my topic “Laptop Lifestyle for the Wanderlust Soul”, head on over to the link: https://www.facebook.com/TEDxLadyBirdLake/posts/374517076292996
Originally published at medium.com
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