Surely at least once in your life, you’ve had anxiety. An unmanageable feeling of being immersed, knowing that there is no other choice. Is it really true that you don’t have any other choice? There are always choices, but uncomfortable feelings do not allow us the opportunity to see them.
Now you can say, “Logically, I know that I have a choice, but it’s hard to act accordingly when I feel anxious.” Well, what if the worry is a logical outcome from past experiences, what does that actually mean? That feelings are triggered due to the patterns found in new situations. That means the situation includes triggers that are working as activators.
You need to reframe your own perception, so you can juggle your thoughts. So you wonder, what are the triggers in this situation? If one trigger causes discomfort, why do I tend to include it in the overall picture? Will I be able to change the perception if an activator is removed?
Another thing to consider is timing. Questioning won’t work if you feel anxious, but afterward, so you can learn something new for next time. If you want to use the same approach for future happenings, then you need to understand what predictable behavior is.
Principally it means that what is expectable you can deal with before it happens. It means that the future situation has been split into multiple parts. Here’s an example:
Somebody tells that your idea is ridiculous.
Let’s talk about consequences. Perhaps you’re becoming frustrated, and you may feel anxious to argue something against their opinion. How can you do that? You might feel rejected and, if so, it’s likely you perceive the person’s rejection as a rejection of you and not just of your idea. It’s generalized because the first response is emotional.
We can continue in the description of the other presumptions but what’s most important is understanding how to get over it. Go back to the approach of how to split generalized perceived picture into parts. So in this case, first is the awareness, for instance: Who says what? Can I see this person as someone who is happy? What do I feel in my body, what is it and where is it exactly? Is such a physical feeling really a consequence of the situation? How did I feel prior to this? Do I like the place where it happened?
Now all your questions are answered. Next is when you can replay the situation from the beginning as an observer who sees yourself from the perspective of another person. In a certain moment, you can identify the trigger, it could be a tone of voice or gloomy weather, every detail is important. If you are able to widen your awareness, you will be able to find the trigger.
One thing that has to be considered is a translation of the happenings in our perception can be misled. In other words, what we think is real could be incorrectly understood.
The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!