We all want to be the best version of ourselves that we can be.
How can we help ourselves to do that? First, naturally the better our knowledge of self is the easier it is to find ways to support us. For example it helps to know our values, strenghts, weaknesses, goals and boundaries. It gives us power to learn to acknowledge our inner speech, our inner observer and our inner coach. As we become aware of those we start to notice our behaviour understanding that we can change unhelpful actions. Key is to really listen to ourselves what is going on and learn how we respond. Let’s look at some of those resources one by one.
It is how we purely observe what is going on without judging. That is that we do not label anything as right or wrong. One way to learn to become more aware is to meditate or practise mindfulness. Those practices help you to stay open, curious, awake and present in each moment. Maybe introducing mindfulness to our busy lives anywhere and anytime. It means doing what we are doing, and being aware of it at the same time. Our inner observer helps us to become aware what kind of thoughts, feelings and sensations arise.
We can observe how we talk to ourselves. What kind of words we use, what tone and how loud. First we can learn to observe how it sounds, asking then is it useful for us. Our inner speech tends to be critical at times, thinking too much and over-analyzing which can lead that we don’t dare to take any action at all. Our inner speech can be harder to overcome than job in hand. Behind harsh inner speech may lay just unfounded fears. Thus, it is important to understand that we can learn to take distance from it. It is in our power to take responsibility of how we talk to ourselves. As we learn the huge impact of inner speech we can modify it by actively noticing it and changing the way we talk to ourselves. Because at its best inner speech is supporting us, helps us to focus, brings plenty of self-knowledge and is a valuable tool as we learn to choose our reactions.
Our inner coach reminds us of our attitude and mindset. It opens new perspectives helping to focus on solutions not problems. It acknowledges that we have within ourselves all needed resources, they just need to be found. Questions as “how am I going to do it” “what do I want to create” “what do I need” “how can I do it better” are helpful. That means open questions that do not come with yes or no answer.When facing challenges our inner coach can help us to find new perspectives to bring ideas and ways to work ahead. We can harness our body language to support our inner speech. Meaning non-verbal communication such as expressions on face, posture and gestures.
Give yourself permission to grow to the best you can be. We are students of our own lives. An attitude of really listening to what is going on within and learning to use our inner observer, speech and coach as helpers for being the best of you.
Stay compassionate and let’s enjoy the process of growing.
“NOW is where your life is happening.”
- Aniekee Tochukwu Ezekiel
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